10 Couples Therapy Exercises to Bring You Closer

Love isn’t just something you feel—it’s something you build.

Every relationship has its rough patches. Even the happiest couples hit moments where conversations feel stale, intimacy fades into routine, or small annoyances turn into full-blown arguments. Relationships don’t stay strong by accident. They stay strong because both partners choose to put in the work.

That’s the part no one tells you. Love isn’t just about finding the right person. It’s about choosing each other, over and over again. And sometimes, that means rolling up your sleeves and doing the hard stuff—communicating better, rebuilding trust, reconnecting when life pulls you in different directions.

That’s where couples therapy exercises come in. They aren’t magic tricks or quick fixes, but they help. A lot. Done consistently, they bring you back to the core of what matters: connection, understanding, and showing up for each other in ways that count.

If you’re ready to strengthen your relationship, these ten exercises are a great place to start.

Why Couples Therapy Exercises Matter

A strong relationship doesn’t just happen. It’s built through intention—the small, everyday choices to listen, to soften, to put in effort even when it’s not easy. These exercises help with that. They encourage:

• Deeper emotional connection (because love isn’t just about logistics and to-do lists).

• Better communication (because assumptions and misunderstandings create distance).

• More trust and intimacy (because security is built through consistency, not grand gestures).

You don’t have to do all of these. Pick one or two that resonate. See how they feel. The point isn’t perfection—it’s movement in the right direction.

10 Simple but Powerful Couples Therapy Exercises

1) The 5-Minute Appreciation Ritual

Think back to the last time you felt truly seen by your partner. Maybe it was something small—how they handed you a cup of coffee just the way you like it or squeezed your hand when they sensed you were overwhelmed.

This exercise is about noticing those moments. Every day, set aside five minutes to tell each other something you appreciate. It can be big (“I love how supportive you were when I had that tough day”) or tiny (“The way you laugh at my bad jokes makes me feel so loved”). The more you acknowledge the good, the more it grows.

2) The Eye Contact Exercise

When was the last time you really looked at your partner? Not while talking, not while rushing out the door, but just looking—taking them in without distractions.

Sit across from each other. Maintain eye contact for two minutes, no words, no agenda. It feels weird at first, but then something shifts. The world quiets. You remember, this is my person.

3) The Active Listening Challenge

Ever caught yourself already planning your response while your partner is talking? Yeah, we all do it. This exercise forces you to really listen.

One partner speaks for a few minutes while the other listens—fully listens. No interruptions, no jumping in with solutions. When they finish, the listener repeats back what they heard: “So what I’m hearing is…” Then switch roles.

It’s a simple exercise, but it changes the way you communicate. Feeling heard is one of the most powerful ways to feel loved.

4) The Weekly Relationship Check-In

Busy lives pull couples apart in subtle ways. This exercise brings you back together.

Once a week, sit down for a 15-minute check-in. Talk about the highs and lows of your week. Ask each other:

• What made you feel loved this week?

• Is there anything I could do better as a partner?

• What’s something you’re looking forward to?

It keeps small issues from festering and reminds you to celebrate the good.

5) The Trust Jar

Trust isn’t rebuilt through one grand apology—it’s built piece by piece, action by action.

Each time one of you follows through on a promise, writes a kind note, or shows up in a meaningful way, add a small token (a marble, a note, whatever works) into a jar. Over time, you see the progress—proof that trust is being rebuilt, even when it doesn’t feel like it yet.

6) Love Language Mapping

Ever felt like you’re showing love, but it’s not landing? That’s because we all give and receive love differently.

Figure out each other’s love languages (Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Gifts, Quality Time, Physical Touch). Then, actively do something in their love language. If they love physical touch, initiate more hugs. If they light up from words, leave a sweet note.

Love lands best when it’s given in a way that feels natural to the other person.

7) The Future Vision Exercise

Where do you see your relationship in five years? Ten? Not just the logistics—the feelings.

Each of you writes a letter about the kind of relationship you hope to have in the future. Read them aloud. Talk about what small steps you can take now to make that vision real.

8) The Conflict Resolution Blueprint

Fights are inevitable. What matters is how you handle them.

Create a conflict resolution plan before you need it. Include things like:

• A “pause” word to stop escalating arguments.

• A rule that both partners get uninterrupted time to share their side.

• A commitment to finding a solution, not a winner.

When the next argument happens, use the plan instead of defaulting to old patterns.

9) The Nonverbal Connection Game

Not all communication is verbal. This game strengthens your ability to read each other without words.

Take turns expressing emotions using only body language—a look, a gesture, an action. The other person guesses the feeling. It’s silly, but it builds attunement and playfulness, two things every relationship needs.

10) The Memory Lane Walk

Go back to where it all started. Visit the place you first met, reread old messages, look through photos. Reliving positive memories reignites what brought you together in the first place.

Nostalgia can be powerful—it reminds you how much history, love, and effort already exist between you.

You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

These exercises can strengthen your relationship, but sometimes, deeper work is needed. If trust is broken, communication feels impossible, or emotional intimacy has faded, therapy can help.

I’m Lauren Hofstatter, BS, MS, LMHC, and I specialize in concierge case management and couples therapy—providing tailored support to help you rebuild, reconnect, and strengthen your bond.